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    DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP: TEST YOUR MENTAL COMPATIBILITY

    Communication in general consists of many levels: mental, emotional, romantic, sexual, business, etc.
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    Communication on distance is a good chance to build a strong bond at the mental level and to be great friends who have always something to talk about.
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    Compatibility on Mental level includes:
    - How good are you in following each other’s logic
    - How interesting are your discussions
    - Ability to compromise
    - Appreciation of each other intelligence
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    The biggest benefit from good mental compatibility is ability to come up and agree on a compromise and also the ability to make up after a fight or an argument.
    It is also possible to train Mental compatibility, if it’s not good enough at the beginning.
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    The easiest exercise to check your level of mental compatibility is:
    -  First partner explains (but not reads) some idea or news and second person tries to rephrase and document it. Then the first person verifies if the idea was understood correctly and explains the inconsistencies.
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    -  The first partner again explains in a written form (texting or handwriting) some other idea/news and the second person rephrases it out loud. Then the first person verifies if the idea was understood correctly and makes corrections.
    -  Exchange roles and repeat the tasks.
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    This simple experiment will show difficulties of communicating at the mental level between couples and will help them to express more clearly or to listen more attentively.

     

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    Calculate your
    compatibility

    ONLINE DATING TIPS: KNOW YOUR NEEDS

    If you are looking for a serious relationship – be honest with yourself first and list your expectations in three lists. Each following list narrows the previous one to bring you to the deal breakers:
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    - What would you love to see in your partner: smart, handsome, tall, successful, wealthy, kind, healthy life style, spiritual, believes in God, soft hearted, strong willed, loves kids, loves sport, loves going out, loves cuddles, accepts my anger issue, accepts my life style, etc.
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    - What you really need in your partner: smart, successful, kind, healthy life style, spiritual, loves kids
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    - What you can’t accept in your partner, what would bring pain to you: being stupid, being rude, non-spiritual
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    The last list is your boundaries - don’t compromise. You may or may not chose to write it in your dating profile, but you definitely have to test your date if he passes your deal braker questions. Even if one deal braker failed – stop the relationship immediately otherwise, there is only 2 scenarios:
    - You will suffer hoping that he would change for weeks, years, forever
    - You will try to change him – and may even change – but there is no guaranty that he will not change back
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    Dealbreakers are dealbreakers – Just brake the deal!
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    - Did you ever regret not breaking the deal?
     
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    RECOVERING FROM ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

    If your life has become hell because of one person, even if he/she did not do something really bad – you need a break to find the real reasons of your emotional hell. If you continue this abusive relationship, you are developing the Stockholm syndrome which will lead to even more darker future. At this stage, you can’t be realistic and can’t make the right decisions, but you HAVE to listen to yourself, your intuition and take a break.
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    Steps to get out of abusive/toxic relationship:
    - Take a break from the relationship – keep physical, mental and emotional distance from the person (no need to fight and end the relationship but pause it)
    - Find the real reasons (by yourself or therapist)
    - Heal yourself
    - Go back to the person if he wasn’t the real cause or move on
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    How did you get out of an abusive/toxic relationship?
     
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